


This time, I might not regret a thing

by kiss-umi (agstdboi)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Canon, Drinking, Junmyeon is whipped for everyone's favourite hyung, Just boys sharing a bed, M/M, and drunk Jongin, blink and you miss it xingdae, why do they have to make my life so dificult
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-11 00:02:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8944678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agstdboi/pseuds/kiss-umi
Summary: Junmyeon wants a lot of things. On the top of the list, he wants for Minseok to stop worrying about him and making him feel special when Junmyeon knows the truth.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This happened because I clearly don’t have anything else to do and Xiuho had to tell us they shared a bed.

Junmyeon tries not to think too much. It's mostly a success when everyone gathers in his hotel room after MAMA is over.

They haven't slept in days but Jongin wants to drink and celebrate and Junmyeon figures  _ why the hell not _ , they deserve a moment and he doesn't think he will die if he takes a few soju shots with his members. But then Baekhyun is walking to his room with Kyungsoo, to take a bath and collapse in bed. Chanyeol says something about a  _ V LIVE _ and that he will join them later, Sehun following close because Sehun goes wherever Chanyeol goes.

That's when Junmyeon looks at Jongdae, pleading with his eyes  _ don't do this to me _ , but Jongdae just shrugs, looking helpless while Yixing drags him away – Junmyeon is happy they're solving whatever their problem is, but he really could use of Jongdae’s judgemental looks right now. 

Junmyeon is left, then, to Jongin’s mercy and the unsettling stare of Minseok’s, trying to gasp every tiny bit of courage he still has to left to drink with the receiving end of his unrequited love.

He knows he shouldn't be in love with another member of his group. He shouldn't have a gay crush on a straight friend, but that's just how things turn out to be. And Jongdae told him, when he confessed over a bottle of wine he was deeply enamoured with everyone’s favourite hyung, that it's not wrong to feel how he does and that Junmyeon should stop martyring himself but he can't really help, can he?

Junmyeon is a leader. He's supposed to be the tick glue that keeps the members together, working towards one goal. He shouldn't be crushing on another member while he's at it, making obvious faces at the older and staring a lot longer than he intended to until Yixing - sweet and always helpful Yixing -, nuzzled him on the side and told him he was being too obvious about it.

“You're thinking too loud, Junmyeon-ah,” Minseok is whispering, leaning on his side. He's so close Junmyeon can feel his warm breath on his shoulder, through his thick, long-sleeved sleep shirt. It sends a shiver through his body and maybe, just maybe, Junmyeon is too far gone to do anything else but cry internally.

But Jongin is pouring another drink for himself, head dipping to the side, and Junmyeon reaches for him where he's sitting on the floor, keeping the younger’s upper body in a vertical line. Minseok stays on the couch, and Junmyeon can feel his stare hovering him but he decides to ignore in order to take care of drunk Jongin, who's mostly likely to puke all over Junmyeon but that's okay because it's his job.

“I'm texting the manager,” Minseok announces then and Junmyeon furrows his eyebrows - he's not as drunk as the other two so there's no way he can understand a simple sentence.

“Don't worry, I can take him,” Junmyeon is already getting up, bringing Jongin with him. Junmyeon goes to the gym a lot but Jongin is still taller and heavier than he can handle and for that they have their manager. Except, Junmyeon doesn't let people do what is supposed to be his job.

“Stop being so stubborn,” Minseok says, unfazed, as he hurries to Jongin’s side to keep him from falling. The younger is mumbling things, making incoherent sounds but Junmyeon and Minseok are too preoccupied having a stare contest. 

But Junmyeon is too far gone to say no to Minseok, allowing Jongin to slip to the floor once again, making sure his head is steady on the bed end and walking up to the couch again. 

He does crosses his arms and pouts, because he can't help and be a baby whenever Minseok tries to question him like the hyung he is.

“Don't sulk,” Minseok calls from the place where he stands, but there's fondness on his tone and Junmyeon looks up, watch as a smile grows on the other's face. Well, at least someone is having fun. 

Junmyeon is going to say something,  _ argue  _ because he's definitely not sulking but Minseok is walking up to him and laying a hand on the top of his head, patting it a few times, making Junmyeon feel like he's a kid and not the second oldest in the group. But then maybe he's a kid to Minseok, just another noisy thing that gets to his nerves.

“You're still thinking too loud,” Minseok says for the second time on the day and Junmyeon fights the urge to bite back with a rude remark that's nowhere near the truth. And again, as if Minseok is reading his thoughts, he says, “Hyung can see your brows furrowing, you're gonna get wrinkles.”

Junmyeon wants a lot of things. On the top of the list, he wants for Minseok to stop worrying about him and making him feel special when Junmyeon knows the truth. He wants to stop feeling butterflies in his stomach any time Minseok comes closer and wants to stop feeling things that make his heart ache and his eyes fill with water.

“Minseok-hyung, I-” Junmyeon starts talking, but the manager walks in to collect Jongin and his words dies on his throat. Minseok eyes him for awhile, still waiting for Junmyeon to finish his thought.

“I’ll take him to my room. You two rest, we will leave to the airport early in the morning,” then he’s dragging a drunk Jongin away, leaving Junmyeon to his thoughts and Minseok’s intense stare.

Junmyeon doesn’t think he can share a bed with Minseok, not even for one night. He already feels like throwing just by thinking of it. He wonders when did he turn so whipped.

He thinks that this whole problem started when Minseok gave him too much attention, and Junmyeon only realized that was just how Minseok worked, always taking care of everyone, when it was too late and he was already with his feet buried deep in the mud.

He's left then, to pin over someone who will never want him the same way. Junmyeon thinks of how foolish he is, in the first place. 

Minseok finally speaks, saying something about comfortable style and walks towards his suitcase, Junmyeon watching in a trance.

Everything about Minseok lures him in and Junmyeon starts feeling stupid because he’s not supposed to feel that way about his straight friend. That’s like, the second rule of the Gay Club.

Minseok talks to him, but all Junmyeon can hear is the intense white noise that refuses to leave him. He's not to take the fault alone, because Minseok is giving him a sweet smile and making him wonder how long will it take to kill him.

“Mhm?” Junmyeon hums, confused. Minseok looks like he's amused and Junmyeon thinks that maybe it's good he's sharing the room with him, instead of Jongdae or Sehun.

“Do you think it will fit you?” Minseok gestures to the shirt on his hand. Junmyeon shrugs, trying to take it for his hands. Minseok pulls it away in time, smile widening as Junmyeon stares, even more confused. “Let me help you,” is his explanation. Junmyeon, probably from the alcohol, doesn't understand until Minseok is holding the rim of his shirt and pulling it up. He's half naked in front of Minseok before he can even protest.

It makes him feel like a child, being handled like this, but then Minseok is giving him a look and the feeling goes away, replaced by a heat on his low stomach.

“Still working out, I see,” Minseok lifts his eyebrows on his forehead. Junmyeon squirms under the stare but doesn’t say anything. He learned long ago to not take Minseok’s words by heart, especially when he is accidentally flirting.

“Can I put the shirt on?” Junmyeon asks, rather quiet. He pulls the shirt from Minseok’s hands, less harsh than last time and Minseok gives up.

“Why don’t you let people take care of you for a change, Junmyeon-ah?” Minseok whispers. Junmyeon is too busy, getting his head stuck inside the shirt, to notice what this is about.

“What do you mean, hyung?” his voice is muffled inside the fabric and Minseok lets out a breathe out of frustration. He helps him out, but Junmyeon still wince. He hates being a nuisance, and the way Minseok looks at him, like he’s a kid who lost himself from his parents, with pity transporting his eyes and hesitation on his tone, tells him he’s nothing more than that to the elder.

“I mean...” Minseok runs his hand through his hair out of habit. It reminds Junmyeon of when he had long locks falling on his eyes. Minseok blows out a puff of air again and Junmyeon frowns. He looks tired and frustrated and he wants to help, make it go away. “You need to let people in,” he says, sitting down next to Junmyeon on the double bed. It makes the mattress dip, and Junmyeon’s body tips sideways against his will, making the skin of his arm brush against Minseok’s. His heart starts beating loud and if the elder realizes it he doesn’t acknowledge, too deep in thoughts. “You’re always there for everyone but when it's  your turn to be taken care of, you just… I don’t know, maybe I’m overthinking it, maybe you go to other people and I don’t see it...” he watches as Minseok pushes his hair back again.

“Hyung,” Junmyeon touches his arm, making him stop to look back at Junmyeon. “You’re rambling,” he says, surprised by  the suddenly proximity of their faces. Fuck, he really needs to stop having thoughts about his hyung’s mouth. He gets the sidetracking, it’s Minseok’s thing. He does it a lot when he gets drunk, speaks his heart out, probably because he keeps things in for too long, is too nice until it chokes him and he needs to pull it out. Just like Jongdae, but the later gets sleepy when he drinks so much as a bottle and Baekhyun, who doesn’t even get that far before passing out.

“I’m sorry,” Minseok laughs, but Junmyeon doesn’t hear the humor in it. “I just feel like you don’t let people in, Junmyeon. You know everything about everyone and it’s so unfair...” Junmyeon doesn’t get why. He does it because it’s his job. As a leader, as a hyung. He remembers everything in rich details because that's what Junmyeon does, he cares and he worries, and it’s not like he’s asking for anything in return. There’s so much Junmyeon is willing to share. 

“There are things better left unsaid,” Junmyeon says, tearing his eyes away from Minseok’s face. He can taste the bitterness of the words on his mouth, much like his bily coming up.

“Like how you cry sometimes inside the bathroom when you think everyone’s sleeping?” Junmyeon looks at him, surprised.

“Nobody was supposed to know that...” he starts but Minseok ignores him, going on with his ramble.

“How you’re the last one to eat, just because you need to be sure everyone will have as much as they’d like, doesn’t matter if it means you’ll have to eat less?” Junmyeon is caught in awe. He thought he no one would notice, but it makes sense. Minseok is always watching, learning. The elder has gone quiet, like he’s hesitating to keep talking. Junmyeon frowns at that. “Also, how you lie when Sehun talks about a good looking girl in a tv show, only because you’re too busy staring at her costar.” Junmyeon’s mouth fall open at that, eyes growing big. 

“It’s not...” Junmyeon starts, only to be interrupted by Minseok once again.

“Don’t need to lie,” Minseok’s voice drops. Junmyeon thinks he might be mistaken, but Minseok just looked at his lips before going back to his eyes. “It’s okay. You’re okay, Junmyeon-ah.”

“Hyung,” Junmyeon says. It’s a plead, a cry, barely a whisper. But without fail his hyung is there to help him. He’s leaning in, taking all the air away from Junmyeon’s lungs in his next breath and giving his stomach a sharp stride. It almost feels like a dream, Junmyeon thinks as he watches the elder coming closer, like he has never been. He waits for the unmistakable sound of his alarm, except it never comes. And then Minseok kisses him.

It’s delicate, shooting and makes his heart stop, before it goes crazy inside his chest. There a firm hold on his cheek and the other hand sliding on his waist, pulling him closer even if the position doesn’t help. It’s almost like Minseok is afraid Junmyeon will run away.

He doesn’t, returning the kiss with the same pace the other guides him through, first slow and uncertain. Junmyeon can only think of how Minseok’s lips feel even better in real life. He fantasized much about this moment and now that’s actually happening he can’t even bring himself to stop, because it’s wrong, wrong, wrong, but it just feels right.

Minseok tastes just like Junmyeon imagined, only better. There are traces of alcohol on his breath but that doesn’t make him any less attractive to Junmyeon. He’s an amazing kisser too, and Junmyeon feel hot all over, his extremities tingling with a different feeling. He doesn’t care that his neck starts to hurt from the position, or that his lips start to feel numb.

Junmyeon depends on the kiss, indulging Minseok when the elder starts pulling him in. He obeys, without breaking apart, climbing on the other’s lap and holding his face with both hands. He’s so afraid of being tear away, that this might be an illusion of Junmyeon’s, that Minseok, the same person he’s been in love for who knows how many years, is not kissing him right now. But at the same times it looks like a dream it feels so real. The way the fingertips reaching beneath his shirt burn pats on his skin, the way the lips sliding against his own tickle, making it numb from the stimulation.

When they finally break apart, both look equally breathless and messier than intended, and Minseok trails kisses on Junmyeon’s jaw, to help and bring him down from his high.

Junmyeon only rests his head against Minseok’s. He doesn’t want to wake up just yet, pushing his crazy wandering thoughts away to enjoy the skin brushing against his. 

He feels confused and overwhelmed. Does Minseok like him or is this just the alcohol speaking? Even though he’s pretty much sobered up by now.

Every single one his senses have been woken up. The delicious sound of Minseok’s uneven breath caused not because he is exhausting himself in the practice room or the gym, but because Junmyeon just kissed him. It’s a thrilling thought, one that inner Junmyeon keeps screaming over and over inside his head.

“I’m sorry,” Minseok finally gathers his breath to speak and Junmyeon’s heart falls to the ground. He’s already hearing the words,  _ this is a mistake, we should forget this happened _ , just how easy it is to make him smile Minseok will tear his happiness away. He wrong, once again. “Is this okay?” Minseok asks, pushing his forehead against Junmyeon’s and now the later is sure his hyung is staring at his lips, only now they’re red and swollen.

“It’s more than okay, hyung,” Junmyeon blushes under the attention, getting him a laugh from the elder. He supposes it's well deserved since he’s turning red after having a full make out session with Minseok while sitting on his lap.

“Keep blushing like that and might have to keep you for a little longer,” Minseok teases and Junmyeon wants to say something, because it’s not fair that Minseok makes him feel like this and he doesn’t get to do the same, to make his stomach turn and his body heat up with stares and words. But he can’t, because Minseok shuts him up before he can even starts, kissing him on the lips again.

It’s just as great as the first kiss, even though it becomes messier and urgent as it goes by, until Minseok has his back pressed flat against the sheets, with a lap full of Junmyeon, who’s shirt has been discarded just now. “Forget about the blushing, I’ll definitely keep you,” Minseok says breathless as he runs a hand on Junmyeon’s stomach’s muscles, following the defined lines. Junmyeon blushes again, patting himself on the back for going to the gym with Baekhyun. He should send the younger a card,  _ Thank you for being such a pain in the ass _ or something, because now he has Minseok endeared stare, challenging it with his own fond expression.

“What if I don’t want to keep you?” Junmyeon teases, redness never fading from his cheeks. Minseok smirks, laughing low.

“I think a part of you disagrees,” Minseok tilts his chin to the bulge inside his pants and Junmyeon just gives up on this stupid push and pull game. He leans down, kissing Minseok hard, using his wandering hands to pull his shirt up and breaking the kiss only to pull it over Minseok’s head.

“You might have to take care of that,” Junmyeon breathes on Minseok’s ear and feels pride fulfill his body when it draws a moan from the elder.

Later, when they’re laying down under the sheets, still naked and coming down from their high, Junmyeon allows himself to lay his head on Minseok’s chest. It’s too hot and hard but Junmyeon finds himself not caring, lacing his leg on the other’s waist. Junmyeon just knows he’s satisfied, smiling against the skin of the other’s chest.

“I’m serious by the way,” Minseok looks away from the ceiling and into Junmyeon’s eyes. Junmyeon hums, waiting for him to continue. He’s trying not to over think this, because if he does he’ll have to go over the wrongs of the situation and he might prefer the feeling of Minseok’s naked skin on his. “About taking care of you,” Minseok grabs a lock of Junmyeon’s hair that’s falling over his eyes and pushes behind his ear. “If you allow me to, of course.”

“Hyung,” Junmyeon says, unable to erase the smile from his face. It might start hurting in a while but he honestly doesn’t care. He just got what he wanted, and later he can worry about the consequences. now he wants to enjoy whatever this is. “I would like that very much.” he smiles at Minseok, wider and happier and he gets back the prettiest of the smiles, leaving him breathless. Minseok hugs him closer, kissing him again and Junmyeon can’t help but sigh against his red lips.

“Thank you Junmyeon-ah,” Minseok says, looking at him with a serious expression. Junmyeon giggles, because he doesn’t know how else he could answer to that. One day he might let Minseok know how much he’s in love with the elder, how happy he’s at this moment. He might confess everything buried inside him, weighting him down like a ton.

The whole situation still feels too surreal for him and after this long long week, Junmyeon just wants to close his eyes and sleep. He even ignores the elephant in the room: they are in a band and are not supposed to fall in love with each other. There are so many wrongs about this Junmyeon fails to find any good reason other than  _ I’m madly in love with him _ . All he does is curl up against Minseok’s body, letting himself go with the shooting circles Minseok’s is drawing on his skin and his voice whispering a tune next to Junmyeon’s ear. He doesn’t over think tonight, and maybe he won’t have to do it anymore.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is pure and soft because Saned is trying to fool me with the “I don’t read smut” shit (I know you’re a lowkey pervert just like the rest of the Junmyeon stans, Saned.)


End file.
